Sharing a post I wrote up on Facebook on July 9, 2018:
Alright, it’s about time I put this out there. This is truly from myself, and I alone... yes, from Bobby. Over the past few years (at least), I have had this inner voice telling me that there is something out there for me. What it is or where it is, I do not know, but it’s out there... somewhere.
When I was younger, I remember times when I would sit in my parent’s kitchen and tell my mom how frustrated I was because I felt like there was something calling me, something big, like maybe finding a cure for some incurable illness. I know that the profession that I am in now won’t exactly take me to that accomplishment, but certainly I know I can and still want to and need to do something of the sort. It is difficult though, especially when we get caught up in day to day responsibilities, leaving little to no time to actually dedicate to such a cause. And on those unique days when the opportunity presents itself, all I hear are those low priority things knocking on my mind. Something similar to the A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.:
What I am writing is not a joke, nor is it something I only think about every now and then. This internal reminder about doing something big is with me every day. I feel like it is eating away at me sometimes, especially when I think about life and how little time we actually have here on Earth. On the subject of time, I also find it mesmerizing when watching movies like Back to the Future or The Time Machine. These movies really get my mind going, thinking about what it would really be like if we could actually travel through time. Goes back to the question “What if we could change the past, or the future?” Would it matter? Would it be any better, or worse in some cases? Regardless, whatever it may be, I want to leave an imprint on this world to show that I was here, and I did something to help make it a better place.
Piper came home the other day from school and said that some of the kids were laughing at her because she wasn’t going to some of the field trips during summer school. I tried explaining to her that she shouldn’t let it bother her that they are laughing, and saying that to a 5 “and a half” year old is rather challenging due to how they haven’t quite figured out how to process logic yet. Anyway, what I am trying to get at here is that some people will either understand what I am saying, and some just won’t. But for those that do get it, I truly appreciate and admire all that you do to help make the world we live in a better place.
The other day Melissa, Piper and I went into Claremont to turn in some recycling (quite a few bags too!). Anyway, as I was standing in line for about 30 minutes with a lengthy line still in front of me until it was my turn, I messaged Melissa (who was waiting in the car with Piper) with the following text:
“Just doing my part to help save the planet and ensure a better future for Piper”.
Melissa asked me why I don’t just leave the bags and call it done. I was determined to get the money, as I usually try to put it towards Piper’s savings account. Well, about 15 minutes later the attendant working the recycling center closed the door for a short break, and at that point something told me to turn around to the mother with the two young boys behind me (who were very well mannered, especially for being out in the heat and sun for so long), and ask her if she would like my recycling (seemed like about 3x’s what she already had). She promptly said “yes” with her broken accent and raspy voice, and proceeded to give me a big hug. I felt really, really good about what I did... as did Melissa and Piper. It kind of took me back to a time years ago, when we were down on Balboa Island during the Christmas Boat Parade, and I was playing my bagpipes for tips. About halfway into the night of playing, I began to realize that what I was doing was helping make memories for people. I really didn’t care much after that point on how much I made in tips, and instead took joy in knowing that I helped make a positive impression on people’s memories.
As for those that just do not get what I am saying, I hope that someday you do. That being said, I hope that you someday realize that life is a gift, and that regardless of our individual situations (good or bad), your life has a purpose. I believe that all the challenges that I have gone through up until now, and for all those I will go through in the future, are building my strength up as a person to help overcome the hurtles to achieve my fate.
So as I started to say, it has been tough trying to find out my “purpose”, as some may call it. I do not know if I will in-fact ever figure it out, but I do know that during my journey in life, if I can help other people find theirs... I can live with that. My hope is that I can at least show my daughter that life isn’t about money, it isn’t about being popular, or having everything you ever dreamed of having, but rather it is about making yourself a person of values, morals, and being true to yourself and those around you.
With all that has been written here, it feels like it is merely the tip of the iceberg for what I wish I could put into words. Maybe someday I’ll be able to, but until then, I will be listening to that inner voice to help guide me down the right path to the future I seek everyday.
Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. And just so you know, this is not a request for anything, except for your encouragement and support.